by: Gerrit Dawson
I live with two high school students. As they got ready for the first day of school, what do you think mattered most to them? Memorizing the schedule? Discussing which figure from U.S. History would be the most interesting? Of course not! The big questions in our house were, “Who will I have lunch with?” and, most important, “What am I going to wear?”
Guys seem to dispense with the whole clothes issue pretty quick—the main thing is to not look like a goober. You want to fit in, but the concept of fashion is not really a driving force. Guys are mainly dresssing to be just part of the guys. For the girls, though, how you look is a bigger deal. Friends must be consulted. Choosing which outfit gets worn on the opening day is a huge decision. Then there’s the whole hair thing. Do I wear it down, or back, or up? Should I get it cut before school? Highlights? Which make-up, perfume, jewelry, and accessories? There aren’t many guys worth the effort my daughter and her friends put in to getting ready. It’s safe to say there are none who fully appreciate it.
But then, the disorienting swirl of these incredibly coiffed girls creates a whole new effect on the boys in their class: am I man enough to approach someone who looks as good as THAT? Except for the rare guy who develops so early he has a moustache in seventh grade, most boys in high school aren’t nearly as mature looking as the girls. And, believe me, they feel it. Beneath the gruff, “Whatever?” exterior are boys feeling very unsettled about how much they look like, well, boys--and not men. I suspect, too, that though these girls are entrancing the guys all around them (who never show it or admit it), they still feel not beautiful, not lovely, not pretty enough.
What’s the deal? Of course it’s hard when not only your body but your mind, your soul, and even your face is changing in adolescence. You’re becoming you but you’re not there yet. So you wonder if how you look now and how you’ll look then will be enough. Meanwhile, there are all those magazines with Ashton and Avril, Justin and J. Lo who look so great. There are all those ads with those kids who have no acne, no fat, no problems living the cool life while wearing whatever product paid for the ad. And there are all those videos and shows where great looking teenagers start their own companies, play music to huge crowds and succeed in dating, academics, surfing and dancing. Who can possibly compete with that?
I saw a magazine shoot once. It did me a world of good. I could see the model from the back. That perfectly fitting shirt? It was done with about a hundred pins. That fetching look of life and love? She wasn’t like that off camera. That perfect hair? Constantly sprayed by a team of assistants. The whole thing is an illusion. A big fake set up to make us ache for what can never be.
God’s Word has a different take on looks. Have you ever seen how someone who falls in love seems to change in appearance? A rather ordinary looking person who suddenly finds herself loved, begins to radiate beauty. People who never found her particularly attractive all notice how great she looks. Love confers beauty on people. God said that to his own people in Ezekiel, “…the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect” (Ez. 16: 14). Jesus Christ confers on each of us the splendor of his love. We are his bride, and he adorns his beloved with gifts of grace, forgiveness, acceptance, peace and tender regard. He gave his life for his bride, and he still gives us his very life by pouring the Holy Spirit into our hearts. Jesus is the one who accepts us as we are, and then begins to cleanse away our faults, to change our flaws, and make us shine with his love. When we know that, in personal experience, we’ll look differently on the outside. We will have the look of those who know themselves beloved.
Another passage declares, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment…Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” (I Peter 3: 3-4, NIV). When we know ourselves to be accepted by Christ, beloved by him from all eternity, and chosen to be his forever, our looks will be affected from the inside out. No longer needing to look at those wretched fashion magazines to see what we are not, we will look at the Word to see all that we are. In Christ’s eyes, you look great!
Next Day Stretch
Don’t look in the mirror today. Instead, look at these passages from God’s Word. See yourself, not in a glass on the wall, but reflected in the loving eyes of God: Isaiah 43: 1-5; Colossians 3: 12; I Peter 2: 9-10; 1 John 3: 1-2. See how great you look to God!